r4ndom h4x

Apple iphone.

Ooh, apple made a phone! Who gives a shit?

I agree that the interface is good. I like it. But the rest of it – you know, the bits that make it into a phone – is shit. Wait for version 3 I think.

The surprise isn’t that apple could make a decent interface for a gadget. The surprise is that Nokia, Sony Ericsson and Motorola couldn’t.

iphone headline generator:

10 if ( NewIPhone == True ) then print “Apple releases new iphone that sucks less”
20 print “Apple releases new firmware, blocks jailbroken ipones”
30 print “Hackers release new iphone hack”
40 goto 10

Windows 7.

Ooh, microsoft is making a new operating system! I really don’t give a flying rats arse.

Here’s the thing. Microsoft’s operating systems all eventually kick you in the nuts. Some do it sooner than others. (Vista, Win ME). Why should I celebrate a potential delay to being kicked in the balls? It’s like waking to the realisation that someone is going to bash your head in with a cricket bat but you’re not sure when it’s going to happen.

Future Windows 7 headlines:

“Windows 7 boots [faster|slower] than [XP|linux|Vista|OSX] and uses [less|more] memory”
“Microsoft issues free upgrade to windows 7 for all new PC’s purchased with Vista as of June”
“Windows7 revalidates license every time PC has internet connectivity in name of security”
“Hackers bypass WGA checks.”
“Corporations waiting for SP1 before deploying windows 7″
“Microsoft releases SP1 for Windows 7 early”
“Security vulnerability found in latest service pack. Microsoft knew about it.”
“New poll discovers people would still use Windows98 if it could run latest games”

There. I’m hoping that I can now go through a couple of weeks without having to read any windows or iphone stories. Hopefully the tech news sites can find something else to write about.